by Connie Shannon and Niseema Dyan Diemer
Yes you read that right. "I usta could" is a phrase in the South meaning when we were younger, or things were different, we were able to do things we can't now. Do you find yourself saying "Just a few months ago I usta could go shopping, meet friends, work out, stop at a cafe for a coffee." Even thinking about what was becomes exhausting much less doing anything.
Thrown into survival mode over the last few months, your mind has been consumed by the necessities: food, shelter, maintaining financial stability. Pleasures may feel far from you, and spending time or money on even small things seems wasteful as the elements of fear and grief occupy the foreground of your thinking. You may even feel guilty about missing these pleasurable things or wanting to go back to when we "usta could."
Humans need pleasure to maintain mental and even physical strength to see us through difficult times. How can you find a way to bring those pleasures or a sense of pleasure back?
The senses play an important role. Baking bread: kneading the dough, smelling the aromas, seeing our finished product. Gardening, even in the smallest pot, planting the seeds, watching the sprouts come up, smelling the flowers or herbs. Sitting outside, hearing the birds without traffic, enjoying a breeze, basking in the sun. All of these activities are rooted in things you can find pleasure in: nurturing yourself through engagement of your senses.
As you engage your senses notice how you feel in your body. You may feel a certain aliveness and pleasure. Let yourself know that it is ok to feel ok. You have been though your own unique ordeal. It may or may not be over but for now maybe it's a little less challenging. An exercise that can help you feel yourself again is one that gives you a sense of your body and heart and lungs. Primary paces for accessing pleasure and aliveness.
Upper Body Containment: Press your palms together in front of your chest. Use about 20% of your strength to do this. Then bring your shoulder blades together in the back. Do both at the same time. And take a couple of natural breaths. Then to a slow count of 6 release the tension and sit for a moment to notice how you feel now. This exercise will also help you be able to hold good/pleasurable feelings a little longer.
(This exercise comes from Merete Holm Brantbjerg and is based on Bodynamic® Somatic Developmental Psychology.)
For help with accessing and containing "feeling good" again contact:
Niseema Dyan Diemer LMT, SEP, BCPP, www.niseema.com