Niseema Dyan Diemer LMT, SEP
Having an embodied sense of a boundary will help your nervous system feel protected and safe. Most people feel a calm and relaxation once they see or feel the boundary. The boundary gives us our space, and gives us a buffer with which to engage the world. This space is yours and when you have a boundary you have the ability to say "This is my boundary, you can't come in unless I invite you."
1. FEEL THE 360 degree SPACE AROUND YOU. Yes you read that right. Take a moment to sit quietly, maybe during a walk outside or after exercising. Then see if you can feel the air that is around you extending about 1 - 3 feet. You can extend your arms and stretch into that space, moving your arms above your head, to the sides and front. Then stop and notice how it feels to become aware of the space around you.
2. PLACE A PHYSICAL BOUNDARY. You can do this with a 6 foot piece of string or yarn, a couple of shawls, towels or a sheet. Place the boundary around you, make it a close or far as you feel is just right. You may notice that a boundary placed too close will feel tight or it might feel secure. Experiment and let yourself notice how different boundaries feel.
3. CLEAR YOUR SPACE. Now that you are feeling your space you might feel that there are thoughts, situations, feelings that are 'too close'. Maybe it's something you're worried about or are thinking about a lot. Place your hands right in front of your chest with your palms facing out, take a deep breath and as you exhale slowly though your mouth, push out with your hands and imagine pushing that thing that is too close to the outside of your boundary. Notice how you feel with a little more space from it. Do you have space to consider it in a different way?
If feeling the boundary is triggering or activating then stop. You might explore what does boundary mean to you and if it means disconnection and isolation see if you can frame it as "this is space for me to feel myself and to know what I need". If you want to revisit this exploration do only one of these steps at a time and see what works for you.
You can contact Niseema through her website www.niseema.com with questions or reflections.