Moving through, "What Happened to You?" — The Foundation for Positive Psychology

Moving through, "What Happened to You?"

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By Niseema Dyan Diemer LMT, SEP, BCPP

Our guest on The Positive Mind, Richard Smith, reframes trauma in a bold and profound way. Instead of asking a trauma survivor, "What's wrong with you?" he asks "What happened to you?" Being present and curious to the, "What happened?" is the first step through a painful story to a place of healing and growth.

In the last 20 years the medical and psychiatric communities have discovered that children who are exposed to continuous economic, social and family instability, otherwise known as Adverse Childhood Experiences, can often suffer from a learned helplessness. Systemic and personal trauma that is not addressed can create uncomfortable and self defeating states of anxiety, fear, rage and depression. In answering the question, "What happened to you?" a person or child has the opportunity to understand ALL that has happened to them and that, on some level," it ALL makes sense." It makes sense that a person would feel angry, sad, depressed and anxious.

The impulsive, self-harming behaviors that arose from these feelings are what caused Richard Smith, a product of an adverse childhood, to be incarcerated multiple times. It wasn't until he was asked by one of his fellow inmates, "What happened to you?" that his understanding of himself and his journey began to change.

Post Traumatic Growth begins here.

Richard Smith took the opportunity in prison to understand what happened to him, and shares it all with us in this podcast. He shares how he developed his ability to connect with young men and members of the BIPOC* community. He teaches them how their responses to the world are not "wrong" and that there is a way out of the feelings of disconnection into connection and belonging.

In next week's part two of our conversation with Richard, we explore how he moved from personal Trauma to Transformation; and the possibility for healing generational trauma through protest, advocacy and community organizing.

*BIPOC Black Indigenous People of Color

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